you know that unexplainable sickish feeling where youre not really sick and you dont really have a headache but you just feel wrong and you cant get comfortable or find something that youre really into but you kinda feel too ill to sleep or eat its like your body saying “i dont know what i want you to do but this isnt it”
That’s called anxiety.
That explains at least half of my life then
This definitely isn’t the lowest I could be- but I can feel how low my vibrations are and have been today. I’ve learned so much today. It’s not good. It’s not healthy. I feel back and forth. I don’t know how to fix all of it but I must try the things I do know. I have been slipping. Sleeping
Today I learned that I need to surrender myself to myself. I haven’t let myself be completely honest because I know that it will involve a lot of surrender, commitment and crying. I hate crying. And maybe that’s why I need to do it. I have to stop being so afraid of negative emotions because they are a part of life.
Today I realized that I am absolutely terrified of my own thoughts. And maybe that’s why I would rather not explain myself or my emotions. I don’t like them. I need to have patience with myself.
I feel almost as if I’ve been telling myself that I am happy with myself for so long without really knowing what it meant.
Today, I learned. I see. I’m scared. I’m surrendering.